


Out of the System

by toxic_corn



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M, First Time, Prostitution, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 06:54:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5407232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toxic_corn/pseuds/toxic_corn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River can't get Jayne's attention so it's time to get him out of her system.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of the System

**Author's Note:**

> When angry about life, don't sit and gripe, write fic! This one's similar to [ There Can Only Be One](http://toxic-corn.livejournal.com/29663.html) but is much longer and pornier. Pornier is a word now if it wasn't before. :P Blame goes to [](http://fairandbright.livejournal.com/profile)[fairandbright](http://fairandbright.livejournal.com/) and [](http://curi-o.livejournal.com/profile)[curi_o](http://curi-o.livejournal.com/) for egging me on to write this.

Out of the System

 

Jayne wasn’t responding the way he was supposed to. River had figured it all out. She thought that if Jayne could see her as delicate and sweet, he’d change his mind about her. So she spent hours in the cargo bay, dancing, and he never once came in to watch. She’d peek out of the corners of her eyes and could never see him hiding, unable to look away from her.

 

She’d thought that maybe instead he’d prefer the “killer woman” and offered to help him clean his guns. She hadn’t factored in his over-protectiveness of his girls and had gotten snarled at in response. The big man had ended up gathering up his possessions and storming off to his bunk.

 

Now River was faced with two choices: either get over her crush or find a way to get Jayne Cobb out of her system for good. Though her feelings were unrequited and frustrated her on a regular basis, she didn’t want to part with them quite yet. But how to get Jayne off of her mind?

 

The idea came to her one day when Inara was returning from an appointment. She slapped her forehead, surprised she hadn’t thought of it before. Of course. It was so simple.

 

~*~

 

“Simon?”

 

“Hm? Yes, mei mei?” Simon barely glanced up from the medicines he was shaking in its bottle.

 

“I need to have sex.”

 

Simon dropped the bottle and scrambled to get the examination chair between them as it shattered on the floor. “River, I thought we talked about this and brothers and sisters _don’t_ -”

 

“Not with _you_ , dummy.” River rolled her eyes. Sex with her brother. She wasn’t as crazy as that. “I want to get a Companion but I don’t have enough money.”

 

He looked like he was still trying to understand all of this and frowned. “Why do you need to have sex, River?” He winced. “Wait. Don’t answer that. I’ll… help you. Just, don’t tell me anything else.”

 

River beamed and bounced over to kiss her brother on the cheek. “Thank you, Simon! My sex drive is very appreciative.”

 

“Oh _god_.”

 

She giggled as she left the room, the sound of Simon’s gags flowing after her.

 

~*~

 

Approaching Inara for help had been more awkward and after River had shyly explained what she needed, the Companion was gracious and helped her in her selection.

 

“Now this one is very good at what he does,” Inara said, pointing to a blonde young man. “He specializes in-”

 

“No. He’s all wrong.”

 

Inara frowned. “River, what exactly are you looking for?”

 

“Big. Like Jayne.”

 

Inara’s eyebrows shot up but she quickly took control of her surprise and pressed a few buttons on the screen. “I think I may know someone for you, if you’re sure that’s what you want.”

 

“I’m sure,” River said emphatically.

 

A few more button taps and Jayne but not Jayne appeared on the screen. The man smiled brightly.

 

“Inara Serra!” he said in rich, cultured tones. “I can’t imagine you needing my services.”

 

“Hello, Duncan.” Inara smiled. “I’m actually calling you on behalf of a friend. This is River Tam.”

 

River found she couldn’t speak. He looked almost exactly like Jayne, though the nose was wrong, he was clean-shaven, and he had an expensive haircut.

 

Duncan’s eyes softened. “Hello, River.”

 

~*~

 

“Inara’s got another client already?” Jayne asked. “Damn, that woman works fast.”

 

Kaylee sent Jayne a look. “That ain’t why we’re goin’ to the Core.”

 

“Then how come?” Jayne demanded.

 

Turning pink, Kaylee shrugged. “River has to take care of somethin’.”

 

“Like what?” Jayne asked skeptically.

 

“Look, it ain’t any of your business so why don’t you just-” Kaylee stopped and smiled over Jayne’s shoulder at someone. “River, you look so pretty!”

 

Jayne turned and gaped at the crazy girl. Inara must’ve made the girl over because the stuff she had smeared on her eyes and mouth made her look older. Sophisticated. And sexy as hell. Her hair had been curled slightly and bounced around her shoulders as she walked.

 

“Excuse me,” she said softly as she brushed by him. The scent of fancy perfume filled his nostrils and he almost grabbed her to get a better smell, find out what exactly it was. She gave Kaylee a shy smile and held out her hand.

 

Kaylee gave it a squeeze. “Don’t be nervous, everything’ll be fine. Have fun, sweetie!”

 

“’Bye, Kaylee.” The girl disappeared into Inara’s shuttle.

 

Jayne frowned, putting it all together. “Wait just a damn minute… does she have a _date_?!”

 

Kaylee squeaked.

 

~*~

 

River knocked on the door and nervously smoothed down her skirt. Here’s hoping everything went well and he’d followed her instructions.

 

Her heart leapt into her throat when the door flew open and Duncan/Jayne scowled down at her. He’d foregone shaving like she’d asked, his hair was tousled and un-styled, and he was wearing old, sweaty clothing. Her only disappointment was realizing his eyes were more gray than blue.

 

“Yer late,” Duncan/Jayne growled.

 

“I’m sorry,” River said, breathlessly. “I-”

 

“Git in here.” He grabbed her wrist and tugged her inside his apartment, kicking the door shut. “You ready for this, girl?”

 

River nodded, suddenly giddy.

 

His grin was lascivious and made her shiver excitedly. “Well, then, let’s get started.”

 

~*~

 

“Who the hell’d she meet in the Core to make a date with?”

 

Kaylee wrung her hands. “I never said she had a date!”

 

Jayne pointed at her. “You’re bad at keepin’ secrets, Kaywinnit, ‘n I know you’re hidin’ somethin’. Where’d she go?!”

 

“Why do ya care so much?” Kaylee asked, turning the situation around on him.

 

For a second, Jayne didn’t know what to say. “I don’t! It’s just when folks go hidin’ stuff from me, I wanna know why!”

 

“No one’s hidin’ anything from you, Jayne, just-”

 

Mal entered the room just then. “Did River leave already?”

 

Jayne now pointed at Mal, eyes popping. “Not hidin’ stuff from me?! The hell’s goin’ _on_?!”

 

~*~

 

Duncan/Jayne scooped her up in his arms and dropped her lightly onto the bed. His eyes glowed as he took off his shirt and River eagerly rose up on her elbows to get a better view.

 

She was disappointed by his waxed chest. Intellectually, she understood that he didn’t have time to grow his chest hair back the way he had his facial hair in just a few days but, still… He was starting to become less and less like Jayne every second.

 

He seemed to sense her feelings and turned up his acting skills a notch. “Gonna make you scream, girl. Make ya see stars.” He rested a knee on the bed and stared at her for a moment. “Gorramn, you’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

 

River blushed a little. She doubted Jayne would ever say that but it felt nice to hear it just the same.

 

He reached out a hand and smoothed it over her thigh. “Feel so good, smell so nice…” He got onto the bed completely and kissed her belly, making her sigh. “Sound amazin’… But how do ya taste, girl?” And started to move down.

 

Oh, Buddah. River shut her eyes tight in anticipation.

 

~*~

 

Mal gave Jayne a withering look. “It ain’t none o’ yer nevermind, so just drop it, Jayne.”

 

“Not if I’m the only one who don’t know,” Jayne shot back. “I mean, what the hell, it’s not like she’s out gettin’ sexed or nothin’ right? It’s just a _date_. I just wanna know-” He stopped when he saw the looks on their faces.

 

“You’ve gotta be _shittin’_ me…”

 

~*~

 

Duncan/Jayne discarded her shoes and stockings and then slowly eased down the flimsy underwear Inara had bought her for the occasion. These he tossed over his shoulder and started to lift her skirt.

 

Blushing, River turned her face away.

 

“Shhh, none ‘o that, River-girl. You watch while I take ya ta heaven.”

 

She peeked through her lashes as he lowered his face between her legs and pressed a soft kiss there.

 

“So pretty,” he whispered, looking up at her with burning eyes. Then he lowered his head again and her eyes shut on their own.

 

He was so good at this. Would Jayne be good at this? _Stupid, he’s supposed to_ be _Jayne. So yes, Jayne is good at this. Great, even. Perfect._

 

She mewled softly and twined her fingers in his hair. “Jayne…” So warm and wet and _unh_! And his beard was providing the best friction and and and…

 

With a cry, River arched her back and came, her hands fisting in his hair. As she floated back down to earth, he kissed his way up her front until he was hovering over her, careful to keep his bulk from crushing her.

 

“Oh, darlin’,” he rumbled. “We ain’t even half done with you.”

 

~*~

 

“So she’s… she’s… _who the hell is she with_?!”

 

“You don’t need to know,” Mal reiterated, then rolled his eyes. “A friend of ‘Nara’s, okay? Now give it a rest. If she’d wanted ya to know, she’d have told ya.”

 

A lecherous grin spread across Jayne’s face. “A friend of ‘Nara’s? A companion?” He started to chuckle.

 

Kaylee bristled, missing Mal’s look of warning. “A _boy_ Companion!”

 

The grin died. “Where they at?”

 

~*~

 

“You recovered yet, girl?”

 

River stretched on the sheets and hummed softly, making him huff out a laugh.

 

“Look at ya. Like a kitten, ya are.”

 

She blinked her eyes open and smiled dreamily up at him. He lowered his head to hers and she frantically turned her face away. “Not on the mouth!”

 

“Oh.” Duncan cleared his throat. “Wasn’t goin’ for the mouth, just wanted ta…” He lowered his head again, this time a little further down to press a kiss to her throat. She sighed in relief. “If we wanna have any more fun today, we’re gonna have to get you outta this dress, kitten.”

 

“Mmm.” River sat up and scooted around so he could unzip her. Once the fabric fell down her front, he started caressing the skin on her back. She frowned. His hands were too smooth. They were big and warm but weren’t callused. It was becoming too obvious that this wasn’t Jayne.

 

But then he was unhooking her bra and that fell down her front too and he was harshly whispering, “Turn around, baby.” And pressing a hot, open mouthed kiss to her shoulder.

 

Shivering, she turned to face him again.

 

“Oh. Just look at ya…” He gently pushed her onto her back and swept away her bra and dress so she was naked and sprawled across his sheets. “You ready for me?”

 

“I- I don’t-”

 

A splintering crash from the other room snapped them both out of their haze.

 

“What the hell?” Duncan exclaimed, jumping up.

 

“ _River_!”

 

Gasping, River grabbed the blankets and covered her nakedness just as Jayne kicked the bedroom door open. He was holding Katherine and looked completely insane.

 

“Who do you think-” Duncan started to say but stopped when Jayne swung the gun on him.

 

“Shut it. You.” Jayne nodded at River. “Get dressed, we’re leavin’.”

 

River glared at him. “I can do what I-”

 

“You want me to shoot ‘im?!”

 

To Duncan’s credit, he didn’t so much as flinch as Jayne pointed the gun at him. “You must be Jayne.”

 

“That’s right.” Jayne sneered. “And you must be the fella who can’t get a woman ‘less she’s payin’ ‘im.”

 

Duncan’s temper flared. “And you must be the fella who can’t get a woman even when she’s practically begging him for it.”

 

Jayne’s expression darkened. “Oh, you gone ‘n said the wrong thing, manwhore.”

 

“Stop it!” River scrambled out of the bed, hurriedly pulling on her dress. “I’m coming, just wait.”

 

She’d barely gotten her dress on when Jayne grabbed her by the arm and tugged her from the room.

 

“My underwear!”

 

“No one’s gonna know ‘less you wanna go flashin’ the town,” Jayne snarled, pulling her along.

 

“Goodbye, Duncan!” River called over her shoulder.

 

Duncan followed them out, looking angry. “Goodbye, River. I’m sorry we didn’t-”

 

“Don’t you finish that thought,” Jayne said, glaring ferociously.

 

“Get to part on better terms,” Duncan finished coldly.

 

“Yeah, well, I’m better lookin’ than you.” And he slammed the door shut in Duncan’s shocked face.

 

~*~

 

Smirking, Jayne holstered his gun, proud that he’d gotten the last word. He turned to say something to River and was rocketed into the wall by the force of her punch.

 

“ _Ta ma de_!” He shouted, clutching his jaw. “The hell?!”

 

“How _dare_ you!” River spat. “You’re not my father, you don’t get to interfere in my personal life!”

 

“ _Personal life_?!” Jayne pointed at the door. “You were about to pay someone ta sex ya! You’re better’n that!”

 

“Oh, so you’re just protecting my honor?! Thank you, Jayne, how _sweet_!” River turned to storm away but he grabbed her by the elbow and jerked her back. “Don’t touch me!”

 

“What the hell is the matter with you?!” Jayne hissed. “I thought ya wanted me!”

 

“I did. But now I don’t.” River seemed to realize what he said and her face turned red with her anger. “ _You knew all this time?!_ ”

 

“No! I just found out today when Kaylee tol’ me you’d gone ta see a companion who looked like me. Girl, if you’d wanted me ta sex ya, ya should’ve said somethin’! I ain’t a mind reader, ya know!”

 

“I didn’t want pity,” River said, sullenly. “Besides, you would’ve just panicked and been too worried about the captain killing you to do anything.”

 

Jayne opened his mouth to argue but found he couldn’t think of anything to say. He found himself even more lost for words when he saw River’s eyes filling with tears.

 

“He was supposed to make me forget you,” she whispered. “But you had to ruin that, too. Please just leave me alone.”

 

Stunned, Jayne watched her walk away maybe two steps before grabbing her arm again.

 

No one was as surprised as Jayne when his mouth covered hers.

 

~*~

 

Jayne was kissing her.

 

Jayne.

 

Was kissing her.

 

On the _mouth_.

 

Surprised, it took River a moment to realize she should respond and she slowly started to kiss him back.

 

Groaning, Jayne backed her into the wall and hitched her up so her legs twined around his waist. She gripped his shoulders tightly and whimpered into his mouth.

 

“Drivin’ me crazy,” Jayne mumbled, pulling back. “Always drivin’ me crazy, girl.”

 

River panted for breath. “What are you… why…?”

 

“You ain’t figured it out yet with that big genius brain o’ yers?” He nuzzled into her neck. “Gotta get ya back to the ship, ‘less you want our first time ta be semi-public.”

 

Smiling, River ground her uncovered center over the lump in his pants, pleased at the way his eyes bugged out.

 

“Hey, c’mon now,” Jayne protested. “You deserve a bed, girl.”

 

River tossed her head, eyes flashing. “I think you’ve made enough decisions for me today, Jayne.”

 

Nostrils flaring at her bossy tone, he attacked her mouth once more, hands going to fumble his belt open.

 

“Anyone sees us, we’re gettin’ tossed in the clink,” Jayne growled, freeing his erection.

 

River kissed his forehead and pulled back to smile at him. “Better make it worth it, then.”

 

~*~

 

When Jayne pushed into her, he felt something inside of her tear and he froze. He cursed himself for a fool. ‘Course she was a virgin, she was just a little girl when she went to that Academy and she hadn’t met anybody since the Doc got her out of there.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jayne panted. “Should I pull out?”  
“No!” River dug her nails into his shoulders. “Just wait a minute. Just a minute.”

 

Jayne dropped his forehead to the wall next to her cheek and moaned low. “Okay. Whatever you want.” He did his best to think of unsexy things to calm himself down. Reavers. Badger naked. Simon sexin’ Kaylee.

 

“Ew,” River said, making a face.

 

Jayne laughed. “Sorry, didn’t mean for ya to hear that.”

 

After a few moments, she whispered, “All right.”

 

As gently as he could, Jayne withdrew then thrust back in. “Okay?”

 

River nodded, pressing her face into the crook of his neck. She kissed him there all soft and he sighed a little. Part of him couldn’t believe he’d waited so long to do this. Sure, he’d been thinkin’ on this more and more lately but he’d had no idea she’d felt the same. He thought he was bein’ a dirty old man for even fantasizing about having River this way.

 

He kept his pace slow and careful, not wanting to cause her any more hurt than he already had but then she started meeting his thrusts with her own, encouraging him to go faster until he was practically pounding her into the wall. She was moaning all low and womanly now and he knew she was close.

 

“Jayne!” she cried out. “I-” He covered her mouth with his and swallowed her scream when she came. Her inner muscles squeezed him so tight his eyes watered and he followed her after.

 

But somehow, his own orgasm triggered another one for her and she screamed out loud before he could stop her.

 

“Shit!” Jayne’s eyes widened when he heard one of the apartment doors start to open. He slid from River’s body, ignoring the little sound of disappointment she made and quickly buttoned his fly. “Let’s go!”

 

Before the curious apartment dweller had their door open, Jayne and River escaped to the elevator, giggling uncontrollably.

 

~*~

 

“Why did you tell him?!”

 

“I didn’t mean to! He knew we was hidin’ somethin’ and you know I’m not good at tellin’ lies so I couldn’t make somethin’ up!”

 

“And he just tore out of here?”

 

“Yep, took the spare shuttle and everything, otherwise we woulda gone after ‘im.”

 

Simon sank into a chair, shaking his head. “I don’t understand.”

 

“I think we all may’ve misread the situation a little,” Mal said.

 

“A _little_? Mal, Jayne’s about to kill a very respected companion.” Inara sighed. “The guild members are going to be furious.”

 

“Not to mention the Alliance tends to frown on murder,” Zoe added. “Everything about this is bad. What do you plan to do, sir?”

 

Mal blinked, looking like he was wondering the same thing. “Guess we can kill him when he comes back.”

 

“Okay,” Simon agreed.

 

Just then, a buzzing filled the room, alerting them to the fact that their shuttles had returned. Everyone leapt from the table and ran out to the cargo bay just as the doors slid open and River and Jayne stepped out of their respective shuttles.

 

“Hey, Cap!” Jayne grinned at them all and positively beamed as River bounced over and hopped up into his arms. “If you need us, we’ll be in my bunk.”

 

“Did you kill that Companion?” Mal asked as everyone gaped stupidly after the couple.

 

“Nope!” Jayne called over his shoulder as he carried River away. She waved happily to them.

 

They all stood in silence for a moment, processing what they’d just seen.

 

“So,” Simon finally said, “does this mean I get a refund?”

 

The End


End file.
